Jun 30 2006
The Yellow Card
Watching the world cup as I have been, it occurred to me that it would be awesome if we each had a yellow card in our pocket that we could stick in the faces of our fellow citizens for poor behaviour (British spelling since this is a soccer-related blog).
Loud cell phone talker in quiet public place — Yellow Card.
Parking spot stealer — Yellow Card.
Lowering airplane seat into tall man’s knees — Big Time Yellow Card!
Two yellows in any three-day period, and you’re in time-out for one whole day: forced community service, or a class on manners. We could give warnings, too. For instance, you may not want to drop a yellow card on the person who eats half a donut or cookie and leaves the other half in the box. We have to show some restraint if this is going to work, people. But think of how fun it would be to drop the Red Cards!
Littering — Red Card.
Leaving clogged toilet without notifying proper authorities — Red Card.
Failure to purchase brilliant screenplay from extremely talented writer — HUGE RED CARD!
Now, I know that giving citizens the power to enforce common human decency is impractical. There would be endless appeals, and it would be damaging to our economy. Politicians would never make it to work. But we could do it anyway — just without the enforceable penalties. Since this is a football country and not a fùtbol country, we could carry around whistles and little yellow flags to toss at the feet of offenders. TWEET! “Failure to wash hands following urination!”
Sadly, assuming this responsibility could lead to severe bodily harm, so perhaps we should just start with ourselves. We know good and decent behaviour. So next time you are about to commit a penalty, give yourself a warning, picture the Yellow Card in your head, and do the right the thing.
So now…who’s gonna buy my script?
“Lowering airplane seat into tall man’s knees — Big Time Yellow Card!”
“Failure to wash hands following urination!”
Come on, those are red cards!
Brilliant idea, by the way.
In World Cup news, how sick was that goal by Ronaldo in the Ghana game!?! Jaw dropping. The extra weight doesn’t seem to be affecting his amazing creativity with the ball.
I’m very much looking forward to the two games tomorrow…although my girlfriend will be conspiring to keep me from the television. Thank you TiVo! We can watch the games together after we get back from the beach!!
The England vs. Portugal game is actually a rematch of their Euro ‘04 clash in Lisbon. The greatest football game I’ve ever seen, of course I’m biased because I was actually sitting in the stadium. And then we got to party, literally, until the sun came up with our wonderful Portuguese hosts. An unforgettable night. If their game tomorrow comes even close to matching that game it will be awesome. And the French might actually have a shot at the Brazilians. But England and Brazil are my picks. Germany over Italy and England over Brazil in the semis. England takes the cup in Berlin to get some sweet revenge for dubya-dubya two!
Jake, I’ll make sure to wear my Deutchland Fusball jersey Saturday! Tina’s German and we’re pulling for Klinsy!
I guess I’ll have to wear my Rooney jersey then. I’d wear my Robbie Keane jersey, but Ireland couldn’t score ONE freakin’ goal IN DUBLIN against the Ukraine to qualify for the WC Finals. ARGH!!!!
I meant Switzerland, my mistake.
I was never into soccer but after watching the World Cup i must admit it is an amazing sport. There were countless times that i jumped to the edge of my seat as Becks or another star was inside the box with the goal in there sights. The fitness level of these guys is also amazing. Although i don’t think i could ever really sit and watch a professional soccer game, the World Cup has changed my view on the sport and piqued my interest into the world of soccer. i was sitting in a delivery room today with a friend of mine whose wife was minutes away from birthing there first child. They told us we would have to leave for the delivery and i found myself jogging to the waiting room to see the outcome of penalty kicks. Then while holding the new child, my eyes were glued to the last 2 minutes of the Brazil/France game. My priorities were soon recentered and i enjoyed the first minutes of a new life. Great day.